DHOBI........!?#$

This happened to me today. 

I got up today early this morning at about 4am. I was hungry (with a growling stomach you can never sleep atleast i can't :P). So i grabbed a pack of chips, found a cosy corner on the sofa and switched on the t.v. Everyone was sleeping and I (obviously) was happily munching away my chips and watching animes (or was it something else? I precisely dont remember). At about 6-7am i was on yahoo waiting for my sister, who lives in US. Well she did't show up (dhoka diya mujhe! :( unfaithful :P). But somebody did show up early in the morning. It was our local washerman aka DHOBI. he banged the gate. i went over to the window to check who it was(thank god i wasn't listening to the music too loud). To know more please read the conversation below (between me and dhobi)

Me: kaun????

Dhobi: eh kapde hai ji?

Me: huh? (confused. what is doing up this early?)

Dhobi: kapde

Me: hain? (still confused)

Dhobi: kapde

Me: arey? (he wasn't even answering to my curious huh(s) )

Dhobi: kapde

Me: arey itni subah kya kar rahe ho????

Dhobi: kapde

AAAAHHHHHRRRRGGGGHHH!!!! KAPDE KAPDE KAPDE!!! 

Atleast he could have answered me. But he went on and on with his 'kapde'. X(

Finally i gave up, frustated, woke my mom up. Let her deal with him (bcause she can only understand his kapde kapde language!)

FOL LOL :D (FART OUT LOUD LAUGH OUT LOUD)

Hey i found some really outrageous pics. People FARTING OUT LOUD :D -

  :O bush did it :P

   poor gurl tortured by her boyfriend :P

 bechara prince harry ;)

..........A LETTER TO AN IDIOT!!

HEY IDIOT,

Do you know how idiot you are? And not alone idiot you are a stupid jumping monkey's diplococuss!!! How dare you to leave us like that! You are such a jerk. Afraid of your mom like she is gonna eat you. She understands you well only if you could tell her. Like you told me and like She told you every thing. Do you know She loves you so much. I don't care if She loves you as a friend or whatever. And what about me. You told me everything and now you're going to leave just like that???? I hope you are not running away. You act like you are so shcoked by the transfer news but if you really dont want to go then why dont you try to do something rather than just giving up!!!

Anyways we'll miss you :'(

FROM ANOTHER IDIOT

I AM NOT A BEGINNER ANYMORE!!

It has been 2 days since i started blogging. I guess I'm not a beginner anymore ;)

I have started another blog. Check it out -> http://schoolchitchat.blogspot.com/

Its all about school days and daily experiences ;) Its the best phase of everyone's life (not really).

I want to keep an account of my school days as they are sadly coming to an end :( I have just finished my 10th. So hardly 2 years are left. I'm really gonna miss it. But, hey hey, its not over yet!! All thanx to devanshi. Its because for her that i can\me up with the idea of blogging school chit chats. THANX ALOT TUKTUK!! Her post helped me. She (and me too obviously) was really depressed 'cause one of our good friends is leaving the school. His transfer news was too sudden (even he himself is shocked, idiot :P). Well tuks we are here for you (specially I'm here for you) ;)! dont worry!! 

 

~*CELEBRITIES KE DIL MEIN 'WOH' REHTA HAI*~

Yesterday we (mom and papa and me) were watching news and as usual i was disgusted. News these days i must tell u. Media makes the hell out of news. Always irrelevant topics. So i can across this weird (yet hilarious) news titled - MERE DIL MEIN 'WOH' REHTA HAI on Aajtak. The funny part is this that it was not some cheesy love story but it was about celebrities and their pets. 

                                                                 

                  

Amitabh Bachchan was the first. i cant remeber the dog's name. amitabh bachchan kept him like a celebrity itself. Never let any paparazzi take his pic (wth :P). When gone out of station he used to leave him behing with everything ready so that his pet won't suffer (awww how sweet of you Amitabh ji). 

well this was a bit serious (rather say boring). Lets come to the next news!

                                                         

Salman khan is still mourning over his pet Myson's death (awwww i know. i can understand). He had two dogs named Myson and Myjaan. Well do you find anything peculiar here. If not (that means you are dimwitted), let me help you. Myson sounds lyk My-son (mera beta) and Myjaan like My-jaan (meri jaan, basically used to address lover or wife). Why he chose such names????? :-| Its really strange! Well i would advice- MARRY someone SOON. Dogs are not your life but a part of it!!

i hope everyone reading this is getting my point ;)

wait for my next post till then ~ toodles (eeewwwww this word is not my type. Dunno why the hell i'm using it :P)!!!

P.S. to Aajtak-  bhai tum log aisi outrageous news kahan se laate ho! They are simply bizzare (and totally boring). Well i can blame news channels 'cause they ruin my dinner most of tthe time! (Sigh! poor me)

...............A THANK YOU NOTE!!

          (i know this pic is a bit formal and sophisticated but chalta hai! thank u guys)
Thank you ol for visiting my blog!! waise bhi visit karna hi tha or i would have forced everyone to death (not really :P)!!

Thanx Devanshi for following me. tum nahi hoti toh aur kaun follow karta :P. By the way Devanshi is an excellent writer (she could be a threat to every writer here. So better watch out!) She (ahem ahem) sings well (no, seriously!)

Thanx to Chirag. He is the same guy who came up with the brilliant idea of comparing FART to F-ART (my artworks). Hadd hai dude!!

Thanx bhai! My big bro (eldest in my chhoti si family)! love you for supporting me!! <3

Jesse mccartbey rox (what j-mac has to do with a thank you note. Have i lost it? Waise there are many people who rock, but saari details baad mein )

well baaki thanx baad mein ;)

Keep visiting people

OMG!! HADD HAI!

Well this is urgent!! Actually its kinda funny!

Today (as some of you know) i started my blog with my first post titled ~ FART !

Before i tellyou the whole thing you need to know that i'm an artist (oh thank you thank you i'm so honoured :P)! well seriously i am an artist! (i'll post my artwork if you dont believe me)

So obviously i was over-excited  (a bit) and so i was spreading the word about my blog! i told one of my friends to check it out. He was a bit busy so he asked me the topic and i said its Fart. this is our conversation (i mean its not the original one but its was somehow like this) :

He said 'ohh'

and i was like 'ohh?' (i was sorta confused that why ain't he laughing or even he cud have chuckled)

He: 'well its about your art right?'

Me: 'huh? excuse me? my art?'

He: 'yea your name starts with F and you r good in ART.'

Me: '.............????'

He: 'arey your topic is FART! that means F-ART means your artwork.'

Me: 'ohhh............................... WHAT????? (i suddenly realized what he was talking :P).'

Oh mi god! he was making fun or was he serious? 

So this is what happened to me.  :P hadd hai! how can people be so casual. Thank god he was not serious or i wud have been offended ;) but hey what are friends for?

MY FIRST BLOG AND I DUNNO WHAT TO WRITE!!

OHK! this is my first blog! phew!!! i have been planning this for a very long time!! ohk now i'll quit my exclamation marks. I can't help it as i'm a chat-aholic. Do you know how hard it is to write in proper english. No chat language here. Not even short forms like LOL, ROFL, LMAO etc etc. n yea NO emoticons :( Too bad! (hey mr. blogger.com can we have emoticons plz?) i guess blogs are usually formal (who cares :P)

Well as this is my first blog, i was thinking really hard what to write here. For days i have been thinking of a nice topic. But.... hard luck. But just know i realized how much i used to enjoy toilets jokes. My brother was the greatest champion of toilet jokes (ohk ohk i know its embarassing). SO my first topic is going to be on FART (its usually common in toilet jokes). ohk ohk! Dont laugh. I know its a weird topic but I'm talking about the scientific side of it! :P 

ohk SO LETS BEGIN-

FART

Well fart is an abbrieviation or rather an abusive abbreviation of the word FLATULENCE. The word 'fart' may be considered as vulgar and people may get offended (so better watch out). 

Flatulence is the production of a mixture of gases. Now this mixture is called 'flatus' (now you see where the word comes from). It is composed of several gases like Nitrogen (20%), oxygen (0-10%), hydrogen (0-50%), carbon dioxide (10-30%), methane (0-10%). Surprisingly they are odourless. Then why the hell it is so smelly. Its probably because of microflora bacteria or presence of feces (poop). Now what causes those sounds (which we find rather hilarious). It is cause by the vibration of Anal sphincter and (obviously) closed butts!

Humans fart while they sneeze, or cough (i guess u know what i'm talking about if you have experienced it).

Now the hilarious side- 

There are certain rules for farting (seriously?) According to 'The Alphabet of Manliness' (i dunno what it is) blaming for farting is a part of a ritual of behaviour (really?) Here are some rhyming phrase-

* He who observed it served it

* He who first dejected it ejected it

* He who said the rhyme did the crime

* Whoever blamed it flamed it

* Whoever spoke last set off the blast

* Whoever rhymed it grimed it

* Whoever denied it supplied it

* He who smelt it dealt it (poor guy)

* The next person who speaks is the person who reaks

Now i found a really interesting fact - Fart Lighting. It is practice of setting fire to the gases produced by humans! It usually has the reference in comics and cartoon but there is a scientif reason behind it. To know how read below (i warn you if you like science and understand it well then read the following explaination below otherwise i'll not b responsible it you blow up your mind. good luck!)

The methane burns in oxygen forming water and CO2 often producing blue hue.

CH4(g)+2O2(g) -> CO2(g) + 2H2O(g)

Hydrogen sulfide also combusts

2H2S(g) + 3O2(g)-> 2SO2(g) + 2H2O(g)

(the bad smell comes from hydrogen sulfide)

Phew!! how many of you got whatever is written above???

well it was nice n hilarious (atleast for me. i had a long discussion with dad on fart xD) and it was quite educational (well yea it was scientific! leave that equation part i know many of you will not get it). For now i gotta go and fart the world out (a phrase i created  meaning to blast) and take my ass of this chair! It hurts now!